Monday, May 26, 2003
What Does Remarkable Mean?
Today, I had a bit of a revelation, brought on by a book I’m reading. It wasn’t so much what the book was about, but more that it was about people who have made remarkable scientific discoveries, e.g. the background radiation of the Big Bang.
This coupled with watching a few episodes of Malcolm in the Middle last night got me to thinking about what makes a person “remarkable.” It’s clearly not talent – lots of talented people go overlooked. It’s not just brains – how many really, really smart people are there toiling away at jobs that are way below their potential.
(Actually, another source of this thinking was Steve Martin’s novella, Shopgirl which I highly recommend. Martin is a surprisingly talented writer. His prose is clean, unadorned, expressive and very American in its directness. In any case, in this book, a highly successful businessman courts a much younger, very attractive artist who is working as a salesgirl in Neiman Marcus.)
So, where is all this going? I had a few self-depreciating moments, wondering if and how I would ever realize my potential. I seem to have a desire to know a little bit about lots of things, but not to know everything about one thing. Some might see this as impatience, or lack of discipline, and deride them as character faults. But, the more I think about it, the more I come to realize that it’s not a fault, it’s an asset. I can be credible to just about anyone, at least as someone who can understand things easily. But, will I ever be one of those famous, “remarkable” people. The answer is probably not – but do I need to be?
As a kid, after some detours caused by confused parenting, I found myself tracked with “gifted” students, whatever that means. In High School, I self selected and put myself in a school with so many bright kids that I was utterly unremarkable. After that, things became disorganized. I had never developed good study habits and I paid the price. Everything was easy until college.
Continuing the ramble, did I not learn to focus deeply because I was unchallenged, or because I was isolated amongst other bright kids and didn’t have to learn how to compartmentalize my time with so much for social activities and so much for intellectual activities. The point is not moot – if I ever do have kids I’ll need to know so that I can help them make more informed decisions than I was able to.
So, now I sit here, in the midst of an interesting, but somewhat scattershot career, pondering how to make my business a success, and ultimately what that success will look like – not an easy question. And ultimately, do I want to be "remarkable"? And if so, in what way?
6:34 PM
Sunday, May 25, 2003
Breakfast Thoughts
This morning, I found myself sitting in downtown Burlingame, CA having coffee, watching the world go by. This is a very bourgeois town, so much so that it sometimes parodies itself. The outdoorsy look is very popular here – just about everyone wears a fleece top of some kind. As I was eating my breakfast at the Copenhagen Bakery (a personal favorite), a middle-aged woman strolled past the window looking as if she had just been beamed in from planet LA. Her mane of slightly overprocessed hair, statuesque (and obviously surgically enhanced) figure, fashionable clothes and shoes and perfect make-up all declared her to be an outsider, at least spiritually. I found her to be a breath of fresh air, oddly enough. An icon of another reality. Of course, in LA, she would be a part of the crowd and in no way remarkable or worthy of comment.
Today, I plan to go into the city to see Carnival in the Mission District. It’s kind of an odd time of year to have Carnival, but no less odd than Brooklyn holding its West Indian Parade, which is also Carnival, on Labor Day weekend.
I also need to do a little soul searching and put together a list of what I need and hope to get out of my relationship with Square One. This is harder than it sounds. I also need to put some structural things in place so I can tend to my health. A couple if days ago, I found myself standing naked in front of a full-length mirror in my hotel room, and I didn not like what I saw. I clearly need to lose weight. I still carry it better than most people, thanks to my over-wide frame, but I want to lose 40 pounds, which will get me down to 195. I also have a few minor problems that I’m going to chat with my doctor about in a week or so. On the whole, I feel pretty good, although I’d like my energy level to be higher.
I’m researching business structures and am trying to balance my demands on S1 with its legal requirements. The whole shebang is pretty complex, and we need to get with the program with regard to maintaining the corporate veil and appropriately shielding ourselves from liability.
I’m also at wits end with regard to my computer situation. Basically Apple service sucks shit. Sorry for the foul language, but that’s as polite as I can be right now. I sent in my computer on 4/15 for a sound problem, and they basically destroyed it. They returned it to me wiped, unstable (kernel panics every 2-3 minutes) and with the original problem unrepaired. They eventually agreed to replace it, and I’m still waiting. In the meantime, I’m using a small iBook that belongs to Square One. Unfortunately, the battery only lasts about 1 hour if you use the machine lightly, and if you try to do any real work, it conks out in 20 minutes or so. Gah! But, Apple has unclogged its gears and should be able to spit out a machine next week. If not, it’s off to small claims to sue Apple. What fun.
5:05 PM
Friday, May 23, 2003
Buys, Busy!
Things are rolling right along here in Square One land. We are doing a fair number of proposals and getting good responses. Like all small business, we seem to alternate between two states of alarm – not enough work and too much work.
I’ve found a nice sublet on top of Twin Peaks, with a great view of the city. One of the issues with living up there is that there’s not too much in the way of neighborhood, but it’s temporary, safe and clean, so it’s all good, at least until late August.
Holiday Weekend
And, believing in planning, I have no idea what to do this weekend. I’ve found some stuff that looks interesting happening around town and will make a concerted effort to get out there and have a good time.
7:01 PM
Tuesday, May 13, 2003
It’s a Small World After All
Today, I had my first close encounter of the blogging kind. My biz partner just got a phone call from an old flame who found his contact info through my blog. Simply because she googled for “Rant du Jour”. I had always thought that my blog had a very limited audience, mostly consisting of a few close friends. (I’m too cheap to pay for tracking that tells me the referring page and Blogger’s service makes the page load too slowly.)
So, this has inspired a new wave of blogging, including the post that appears below, which I wrote just about a month ago and never posted.
And, since I’m here, I’ll give a plug to Get Your War On, which has just taken a slight detour to lambast Bill Bennett.
5:10 PM
On The Road Again
April 16, 2003
What a crazy world we live in. I sit here in LAX, drinking an acceptable Red Ale, having just eaten a nice Caesar Salad from Boudin – not bad for airport food. I have seen such beautiful people stroll by that I feel not just awkard, but a bit unsightly. And a lot of the people are non-white. Another reason I love California.
I love New York, too. Then again, it’s hard to think of places I don’t love. Berlin has its tragic sophistication and it’s old-world reserve. Paris has its ornamentation and its art and its food. Tokyo has its energy, its lights, its food and remains our circus mirror on the West. Canada is just different enough to be interesting. Florida gives our elderly a place to live in an industrial workers’ retirement paradise. LA is superficial, and God bless them for it. SF lets it all hang out, but just so.
I have made a few observations the past few days:
First, and perhaps least important, I have recalled that The Beatles can make me cry. Particularly on airplanes. The odd chord structure of Norwegian Wood has always been very evocative for me, but I sat there listening, over and over, thinking not only of the song, but of the Huruki Murakami novel. Isn’t it good, Norwegian wood? Follow it up with other Beatles standards, and my role deteriorates into sitting there, staring at the tops of clouds, wiping the tears from my eyes.
I have also decided that relocating back to the West Coast is a good idea. I have missed the beautiful landscape and the food. (Then again, I always miss the food. I already miss good pastratmi, nice pickles, East Coast Chinese food and diners.)
I have also reaffirmed my belief in my own intelligence, energy and ability to make things happen. And it’s about time, too.
So, my future is hooked up to a startup, with David whom I know pretty well, and Ayo, whom I know not at all. He’s damned talented, though. We will be proud of the work he leads. He gets it, David gets it, and I’m pretty sure I get it.
5:00 PM
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